That’s so ______!

What do you usually put in the blank?

Crazy? Ridiculous? Outrageous? Gay? Stupid? Retarded?

It seems like Christians all agree on what THE swear words are. You know what I’m talking about. The words that get bleeped out of songs. The words that you would never dare say in front of your pastor, parents, and professors. Even your friends.

But does it stop there?

I wrote a post my freshman year about substituting words that resemble swear words and how behind it, it was no different to use words that still carried the same meanings and origins just for the sake of being Christian. I don’t know how many of you guys remember that post (I know that David Ahn & Tia do. Hahaha.) but a lot of my thoughts about that have changed too (in ways that I will explain toward the end of this post).

This is something that I’ve been wanting to write about for a while now. I’ve been biding my time, wondering if I should just quietly talk to people about it instead of publically saying, “BLAH BLAH BLAH STOP IT D:” but it’s something that I’ve always wanted to talk about just to share my own convictions about this.

Freshman year, I remember that I was outside of Summit. I think that it was after campus EV and we were going to swipe the upperclassmen. I was talking to an upperclassmen brother and said in response to something he said, “That’s retarded.” He paused and then said with a smile, “You know, my friend lectured me the other day about using the word ‘retarded’ and why it’s really messed up to use it….” I knew where he was going with it. It was something that slipped; I usually didn’t say the word myself.

I have an autistic brother (highly functioning) and I grew up with hearing kids calling him retarded, upon which I forcefully corrected them. But I also know people (yes, plural) who are mentally retarded. My parents are part of an organization called FHFSN (Friends Helping Friends with Special Needs), an organization for parents, especially Korean/Asian parents, who have children with disabilities. I’ve helped out a bit while it was still in its fledgling stages and every year, I still go camping with them. Try saying “That’s so retarded” there and the parents will probably flog you around the camp fire and make you sleep with the bears.

It’s not just with the word “retarded.” I hear a lot of people, Christians included, using the word “gay.” Granted, homosexuality is a sin and isn’t something to be defended but all the while, how is it loving to homosexuals as people, to say in a condescending tone to someone, “You’re so gay”? By saying that, one is implying that the person whom is being called “gay” is not only homosexual but on a lower footing, or even a lower existence, than the person who is doing the name calling. As if homosexuals aren’t people. As if their sin is so much heavier than the normal person’s sin.

It can be any word. There’s a sister who chastised me every time I called someone “stupid.” And yes, I need that chastisement. I realize that I’m not the most qualified to write something like this because I can be abrasive with my words. Just to be funny. At the expense of other people, whether they’re mentally retarded or homosexual or really, just a bit slower than their peers. It’s something that I’m painfully aware of, yet so oblivious to when I’m around people I’m the most comfortable around or if I’m just trying to be funny to gain the applause (or laughs) of men.

When I came to realize that nonchalantly saying to people, “You’re so gay/retarded/stupid/[insert other word]” was actually out of a very, very sinful heart, the first thing I thought was, “Aw man, that really restricts my speech.” I no longer could add the spunk and flavor that I had added to my speech before. I wanted to, at other peoples’ expense, be liked by people and be known to have an attitude when I spoke.

In a nutshell:
“With [the tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God;” (James 3:9)

The “curse men” part of that doesn’t just have to refer to swearing at people or gossiping about them. It’s so legalistic to just set up rules and boundaries, saying that these words and activities are off limits because it’s unchristian to say or do them. So often, I ignore the heart issue and write a list of rules to follow. I did the same thing for thinking that substituting the word “freaking” for its more obscene cousin was an automatic no-no, in all circumstances, no exceptions. Rules and guidelines are good for general guidance, so I’m not saying that I hate them, but once one becomes reliant on them and forgets that the rules and guidelines are there to fight against a heart issue… that’s legalism.

I will write a separate entry about the whole thing about my view (kinda) changing on substituting toned down words for swear words. This was a pretty monster post in itself. I wonder if anyone will read through the entire thing. Haha.

Cross-posted to my xanga. (Check out Pastor Patrick’s wordpress entry about the tongue! Haha, it’s more concise than this entry and says a lot more. ;; )