Rest

Funny, when I come home, it’s not really rest… it’s more like I’m still pretty busy but don’t have to study. … For school. … Since I’m studying for the GRE right now.

It’s such a sweet time to sit down and think about how the past quarter has been.

Hectic. Crazy. No sleep. Thinking about electronegativity, basicity, and acidity too much. Feeling like a zombie everyday. Drinking too much bad boba from Tea N More.

@_@_@_@_@_@_@

But for what? What was I doing it all for?

When GMao and I talk, we kind of use each other as sound boards. We kind of rattle stuff off to each other, respond to each other, then use that to spring off to another thought or idea. And through it all, I realized that it’s not just that it’s “bad” to be so busy with school and life and stuffs, but it’s worth absolutely nothing, were it not for the sake of His name.

Then that really puts things into perspective.

Right now, as I’m still considering what job to take up after I graduate and knowing that grad school is an absolute certainty right now, I’m being reminded more and more of the foolishness of setting plans and then thinking that it’ll happen, no matter what, that I’ll make it happen. Because if there’s no thought of the eternal being factored into it, I’m investing into nothing but vanity, into nothing but ashes that will be blown away by the wind.

As there are a lot of loose ends that I want to tie up while I’m at home ( practicing Liebestraum and finishing FF7 haha) and a lot of chores to help my parents out with, it’s a good time to finally rest and think. To think about how I can serve Him better, how I can minister to others around me, and to just simply marvel at His love for me.

Mmm. Here’s to a full night’s rest. : D Good night!

Because I don’t know where else to update this?

I still have a lot of dreams about being in Japan. But like, I just arrived that day and just took the train out of Narita Airport and am looking for a place to exchange my dollars for Japanese yen. Strange, strange dreams.

I wake up feeling sad about not being in Japan.

Brrrr…

Is it just me or is it colder than it usually is this time of the year?

Nevertheless, thank God that he gives us changing seasons! It sure is nice to have a cold winter (minus the snow– not a big fan of it).

Mkayyy time to finish up finals week. Woohoo!

Joy :)

The Lord always reminds me to be joyful during finals week. It’s hard, it’s stressful, and it’s frustrating when you’ve tried your best to be diligent the entire quarter but still find yourself short on time.

But then the Spirit reminds me that it’ll all burn anyway. Don’t take it too seriously. “You’re not bringing your gpa into eternity,” I’m reminded.

Puts things into perspective. Then I start thinking about eternity and start getting really excited. But then I realize that ochem’s still staring at me. So I go back to it, joyfully.

Things to be thankful for (and not just at Thanksgiving season)

[Caution! Long, rambly entry! But plz read it anyway?]

This year has been a year full of challenges that would’ve made me or broke me in previous years. It’s such a testimony to God’s goodness and faithfulness in sanctifying me in just the short four years that I’ve been saved for.

As Thanksgiving is comin’ around the corner, LBC had its annual Thanksgiving dinner. The food was wonderful and the company was better, but the best part of it all was the sharing time. Now, I’m usually not very good at sitting through these because I have the tendency to be very inward and not care if it isn’t related to me somehow (and I’ve completely aware of the fact that it’s a lack of love for people… workin’ on it). But tonight was just so sweet. I’m not even trying to muster up the feeling that it was encouraging… it really was. I couldn’t help but to smile with every single person who shared.

So here’s a list of things that I’ve thankful for. Post your own. I demand it. Haha.

Moon Choi is thankful for…

1. Salvation. I had the privilege of leading the new visitor’s orientation today (it was kinda weird) but as I got to the back of the pamphlet and began to share the gospel, it felt so sweet as I was able to share it with someone. Every time I share the gospel, I can’t help but think, “Moon, is this something that you really believe with all your heart?” and as I think, “Yes, this is the only thing I have hope in,” I feel joy seriously rising in my chest and I can’t help but be floored by the thought that God made him who knew no sin to be sin on my behalf… that he would crush his own son, just so that he can credit belief as righteousness. The gospel only gets sweeter and sweeter as I get older.
2. Lighthouse. I’m not gonna lie… didn’t really dig LBC when I first got there. Haha. I only stuck around ’cause I began to realize that it had the kind of teaching that I was hungering for my whole life and because I was too lazy to church hop. Haha. But praise God! I got saved and baptized at LBC. Met my closest friends there and met ladies who are, in a sense, my spiritual mothers. I see so much joy and love in the church and it challenges me to strive toward loving others all the more.
3. My roommates. I shared this at the Thanksgiving dinner today, but I think that my mind was all over the place when I was sharing. Haha. I love my apartment. It’s warm, no cold air leaks in from the outside, and apart from the pest problem that we’re having in the kitchen, it’s clean and cozy. I love my apartmentmates even more. We could still be living at 2107 at janky La Regencia and it wouldn’t matter. Living with Grace, Wury, and Jen has been an absolute privilege. We all have very different personalities (though Grace and Wury tend to be more expressive while Jen and I are more reserved), it doesn’t matter because our common foundation is in Christ and we’re all running in the same race, toward the same goal. I’m so thankful to be able to come home to an empty apartment and feel lonely (because it means that I miss my roommates…).
4. Trials. Ok, so who wants life to be easy? I sure do. But no growth comes from that. I’m thankful that the Lord tests us and puts us through trials that stretch us, challenge our faith, and make us all the more desperate for him. To be able to say through tears, “It is well with my soul”– only with the full assurance of salvation and hope that one has in Christ can that happen.
5. Bible. This has been an anchor for me since I got saved… I’ve found so much refuge, so much comfort in God’s Word. I’m thankful that it reminds me of who God is and that he is greatly to be praised– regardless of my circumstances! It’s a double-edged sword, but it’s also a love letter from our Abba.
6. Family. God has blessed me with a very loving, understanding family. My parents aren’t your stereotypical Korean parents. My dad was a philosophy major in college. What the heck, right? And he even told me not to go to med school. As puzzling as it is, my parents have always loved me, even as a brooding adolescent, and have put up with  me when I got really emotional over nothing. They continue to provide for me in every way possible, even if it takes a toll on them. Plus, they’re funny. Hahaha.
7. Writing. Or, I should say, language. The ability to communicate thoughts and emotions… it’s amazing. A big reason why I wanted to learn Japanese was so that I could write stories in Japanese. Each language has its own beauty and it’s amazing that God created it to be that way. When I was in high school and, pretty much, had no close friends, my diary was always there. It’s a very poor substitute, I understand, but at a time when no one else was there for me, words and creativity were always there. I love words like I love people, almost.
8. Education. I’m thankful that I’m able to major in microbiology and minor in literature/writing. It’s such a privilege to attend UCSD and to receive an awesome education. And what a wonderful place to meet new people, Christian and non-Christian alike! I’m thankful that God gave me the opportunity to be on such a campus and to receive an education, and that I live in a country where it’s so readily accessible.

Okiedoke. It’s nearing midnight and I have a deadline to meet. But hope that Thanksgiving has been filled with much joy, family, food, and thankfulness! Bye byeeee.

Mmm… :)

You know when you have those moments when you’re just sitting back and taking a breather and you feel just so content with the moment? Regardless of anxieties, regardless of issues, regardless of circumstances. Just contentment.

I’ve been having a lot of those moments recently. Because I’m learning more and more that God is God and I’m not, and that He loves me very much, even when He doesn’t have to.

It’s a good feeling.

Coffee on an empty stomach was a bad idea

That explains why I’m still up at 3:33 AM.

In a lot of ways, today’s been a tough day. Externally, it was actually a pretty good, productive day. But my mind is raging and after the sweet peace that prayer brings, there’s still all this excessive writing energy that’s left and I’m using the last of it for the night on here.

I’ve been meaning to update this thing for a while now but whenever I get to it, I forget what I wanted to write.

It’s amazing to still feel God’s love and mercy, to know that He chose me before the world was formed and that I am His for all eternity. So from point A (not that there was a finite point when He chose me… so let’s say that point A is just an arbitrary moment in eternity past) to point B (which extends through eternity future), God decided that I was His. So that makes all this time in between that much more secure. Get my drift?

There are times when I still do waiver. I get all these crazy questions in my head or there are certain things that severely discourage me and after despairing, do I realize the steadfastness of my God.

And that this God had already won me over, that He had already resolved to say to me that I am His, don’t worry about it, He’ll pay for it all.

And that this God is mine as well.

How sweet the gospel is.

Thinkin’ about Heaven

When I think about Heaven, I get that feeling that you get the night before you moved into your dorm to start college. Know what I mean? That excited, “I can’t wait to get there!” kinda feeling.

I was listening to Enfield while working out a little while back (I usually listen to really upbeat Japanese music when I’m at the gym so this was unusual) and in “Finally Home,” there’s a portion that goes, “When shall I see my Father’s face and in His safe hands rest?”

And it made me think… once we’re in Heaven, that’s it. There’s no more earthly ministry left for us anymore.

I think about Heaven a lot during finals week (haha anyone else with me on this?) ’cause I just want to be done with this world and have perfect fellowship with the saints of all history and to finally walk by sight and not by faith.

It makes me think of Acts 20:24 (hi Tia ) and reminds me of how Paul struggle seen in Philippians 1:22-23, wanting to labor for ministry but still, being “hard-pressed between” that and his “desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better.”

Granted, for me, it’s not the same kind of v. 24 “Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you,” in my situation but at the same time, I can see where that struggle comes from.

Haha I meant for this to be a really short entry about that feeling I get when I think about Heaven but it ballooned out into something bigger. >_>;; Which isn’t a surprise, I hope.

Ok. It’s late. I have a weird sleeping schedule at home. =_= Need to fix it before summer session starts. (I can hear my dad snoring downstairs. And my door’s closed. Dang.)

Hallelujah, what a Savior!

Seeing people genuinely seeking out God and seeing people get saved after knowing them for a few years… it’s a joy inexplicable.

The importance of Christian testimony– from a personal perspective

My childhood friend, Leeann, came down to San Diego week 1 since she was on spring break. She’s a dear friend whom I’ve been having a burden for ever since I got saved my freshman year. I’ve talked about the gospel with her on a few occasions and have prayed with her. The suspicion in my heart was that she wasn’t saved– in a lot of ways, it was very apparent but since she didn’t outright say that she wasn’t Christian, I wanted to be cautious.

She stayed with me for three days and two nights. One of those nights was a Friday, on which I took her out to College Life. I’ve always raved about Lighthouse and how I got saved there. I’ve shared with my testimony with her on multiple occasions and emphasized the part that I had thought that I was Christian all along until I got saved.

On Thursday night, her first night over at my place, we started to talk about her younger cousin, Aaron. I saw his facebook page one day and was very encouraged– it said something along the lines of, “Play football and do track for God’s glory. I want to evangelize to everyone.” I knew this kid growing up and let’s just say… he wasn’t the model child. Hahah. Leeann told me other details about him but said that he started to change in the last few months. He stopped doing all these bad things and his grades started to get better. She said that it was incredible, that he would change so drastically. So I talked about 2 Corinthians 5:17 with her on Thursday night and wanted to ask her if she saw change in her life. However, I decided to put it off until the next day after she heard Patrick preach and met people from Lighthouse.

On Friday, we got to Bible study and Patrick preached on the apostle Thomas (yes, we’re almost done with the survey of the Apostles!). It was a really good sermon that debunked the notion that Thomas was the only doubting disciple and that all the other disciples were faithful. Thomas just wanted to be near Christ, no matter where He was. It was very challenging for me and hoped that it was something that would make Leeann think too.

Afterward, we went to Cotixan’s and grabbed food. I kind of ditched Leeann and just went around and talked to people. And before y’all say anything, keep in mind that Leeann and I are childhood friends. We’ve known each other since I was in second grade (and she was in first grade). I knew that she would be ok with it. Plus, it would enable her to meet people instead of just having her talk to me.

We came home that evening and we just began to talk. We talked about who she met and blah blah blah (don’t quite remember the details as well anymore haha)… she went off to go wash up and I resolved in my heart that I would start to ask her the question when she came back.

She came back out and we began to talk again and as we did, I said, “Hey Leeann, I know that I’m stepping on your toes when I say this but… do you think you’re Christian?” She looked at me, then with a half smile, shook her head. As we talked, she revealed to me that she had been expecting me to give her a talk for a few years now and had thought that I’d lay it down on Thursday night when I was talking about her cousin. Dude, did this make me feel bad! I told her that I’d been waiting for her to ask me about my faith! She apologized to me, saying, “I’m sooo sorry unnie. I should’ve asked you!” but I promptly told her, “No, Leeann… it’s not your fault. I should’ve talked to you. I’ve been commanded by God to do it.”

So we talked. I shared my testimony in detail and gave the longest gospel presentation that I’ve ever given. It was late at night and I had wanted to go to Saturday morning prayer but it didn’t matter– here was my precious friend’s soul, hungering to know more.

She told me as we talked that had I shared with her on Thursday night, she would’ve just acknowledged, “Oh yeah, that’s nice. Jesus died for my sins, God loves me, I’m a sinner. Yeah.” But after meeting people from Lighthouse, she said that she could see the genuine love and kindness that they had toward her even though they’ve never met her before. To that, she commented, “I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life.” It made her more attentive to the gospel because the people she met were obviously affected by it. The kind of interactions that she had was not of this world and she was shocked and pleasantly surprised by it.

I can’t say that she’s accepted the gospel yet. But she’s definitely seeking. She knows the gospel in its entirety now and knows how to get saved. She just has to churn through these thoughts.

On Saturday, as she was getting ready to fly back to the Bay Area, I swept my bookshelf and pulled out some books (e.g. Today’s Gospel, The Cross Centered Life, Don’t Waste Your Life) and gave ‘em to her. They’re small books, easy to read, but they were books that were so crucial for me after I got saved.

This huge, long entry, all to say that the Christian testimony is sometimes so much more important than we give thought to. The world is watching. And the world will be perplexed and puzzled over how such imperfect people can come together, regardless of social skills, race, or whatever, and enjoy true fellowship with each other.

I’m so thankful for the people who talked to Leeann and made her feel really welcome. She said that if there were a Lighthouse in Nor Cal, she would go (TEEHEHEHEE CHURCH PLANT!) because this is what she had been hungering for!

I hope that you’re just as encouraged as I was by all this. Haha sorry that the entry was really long-winded and disorganized… but even all this to God’s glory!